... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits....
.....Dave Barry
| Bob: | What a great start to 2005.
We're kicking off the year with an exciting interview with the 2nd best
humor writer in the world. Stepping down due to pressures from
Speechboosters, Dave Barry joins me now with his concession interview.
So Dave, I finally got to you? |
|
| Dave: | What did you say your name is? | |
| Bob: | OK. Why am I not surprised that a guy who lives in Florida is the last to know? So you really don't know who I am? | |
| Dave | Wait a
minute. You're the guy who pulled a cow out of your nose. |
|
| Bob: | Oh nose jokes. That's a
step up from booger jokes. I guess to be technical, a nose joke
would be "outside" your area of expertise. Actually Dave,
I'm a big fan of yours. What advice do you have for an
undiscovered funny guy like me? |
|
| Dave: | Well surrounding yourself with cows, outhouses, and boogers couldn't hurt. | |
| Bob: | Bad visual on that one Dave.
What else ya got? |
|
| Dave: | You need a catchy phrase like my "I'm not making this up". | |
| Bob: | .How about something like "There's ducks in my shoes"? | |
| Dave: | Needs
work. You used to be funnier. |
|
| Bob: | I suppose there's many people
writing the Miami Herald trying to fill your vacancy. |
|
| Dave: | There's that one Jewish woman who claims to be my identical twin. | |
| Bob: | I thought Mr. "T" was your
identical twin.
|
|
| Dave: |
It's true. While he was pitying fools, I was writing about them. |
|
| Bob: | . | Well I can only hope I can be
half as funny as you are someday.
|
| Dave: |
Now, or when I used to be funnier? |
|
| Bob: | You're perpetually funny Dave.
I have to admit, I'd be interested in your old job myself, but there's
some aspects that would worry me.
|
|
| Dave: |
What's that? |
|
| Bob: | Well I get a little nervous
when men's rooms get crowded. There's thousands of people that
take you to the restroom with them. I'm not sure I could handle
that. Dave, do what ya gotta do. Ride that bull, marry
Britney, be the first guy to pogo stick to the North Pole, but come back
soon. We need you.
|
|
| Interviews
Of Yesterweek
| ||
| Presidential Debate 10/31/04 | ||
| Olympic Judge 09/12/04 | ||
| Tom Ridge 08/08/04 | ||
| George Bush 07/15/04 | ||
| George Tenet 06/13/04 | ||
| Gay Mass. Couple 05/23/04 | ||
| Ray Romano 05/02/04 | ||
| Rupert Murdoch 03/21/04 | ||
| Bill Gates 03/07/04 | ||
| John Kerry 02/15/04 | ||
| Janet And Justin 02/01/04 | ||
| Russian Army 01/25/04 | ||
| Democratic Hopefuls 01/11/04 | ||
| Prahlad Jani 01/04/04 | ||
| Santa 12/14/03 | ||
| Tom The Turkey 11/23/03 | ||
| Steve Bartman 10/25/03 | ||
| Bill Welke 10/11/03 | ||
| California Gubernatorial Candidates 09/13/03 | ||
| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/22/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |
