This week Bob visits with Khalid Shaikh Mohammed
| Bob: | Greetings Speechbooster's visitors and welcome back for another weekly interview. This week I'm meeting with Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the Igor of the evil Osama bin Laden recently captured in Pakistan. The picture of you that was all over the papers looked like they must have woke you out of a deep sleep. | |
| Khalid: | Just another American lie. I was about to get up and do my paper route. | |
| Bob: | This is kind of an odd setting that we're in. It looks like an abandoned warehouse with some kind of amusement ride, and there you are handcuffed inside one of the ride's cars. What's up with all this? | |
| Khalid: | Another lie. You Americans claim it is illegal to torture people, but I have been forced to ride this ride hundreds of times already. | |
| Bob: | Wow! You look OK, what kind of torture occurs on the ride? | |
| Khalid: | There is no physical torture. Just dozens of little puppets singing "It's a Small World After All". I can't stand it any longer. | |
| Bob: | Let's talk about your background for a minute. Exactly what kind of childhood did you have to make you such a dastardly and unlikable character? Did you watch violent TV by any chance? | |
| Khalid: | Yes, we had a single videotape of a dubbed over episode of The Brady Bunch. Alice the housekeeper was distraught because she thought Sam the butcher was seeing someone else. The emotional roller coaster left my entire family scarred for life. | |
| Bob: | What else did you do to entertain yourselves? | |
| Khalid: | When we were little our fathers bought us weapons of wee little destruction to practice with. | |
| Bob: | Were you the kind of kid who pulled the legs off of insects? | |
| Khalid: | We lived towards the center of town, if we saw a bug there, almost always the legs were removed already. | |
| Bob: | So rumor has it you know where Osama is, can you tell me? | |
| Khalid: | Every time they start this ride up I tell them again, he's been a cabbie in New York City for the last 2 years. They've taken a polygraph and they know I am being truthful, they just like to hear me scream when they start the ride back up. | |
| Bob: | What about his sons. They say you've tipped them off where Osama's sons are as well? | |
| Khalid: | I certainly have. Those little squirts used to ring my doorbell and run when they were small. I told them I would get even one day. | |
| Bob: | So there you have it. Tune in next week for another Speechbooster interview. | |
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| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/02 |