... Bob's Fabricated Interview  

 

This week Bob visits with Kim Jong-il,

The Leader of North Korea

 

 
Bob:   Greetings Kim Jong, and thank you for agreeing to be the next Speechbooster Interviewee.  Now I'd like to start by asking you why you insist on taunting the United States as well as the rest of the world with your continued pursuit of nuclear capabilities?
Kim-Jong-il:   In all countries besides North Korea, they do not allow me on most the amusement rides.  You all will pay dearly.
     
Bob:   Well you are what we Americans call vertically challenged.  I think you might be suffering from the old "short guy with a chip on his shoulder complex".  How tall are you exactly?
Kim-Jong-il:   I am five feet eight inches tall.
     
Bob:   How tall are you with your shoes off, and your hair wet?
Kim-Jong-il:   Three feet, eleven inches.
     
Bob:   Were you in The Wizard of Oz?
Kim-Jong-il:   No, enough of this foolishness, the North Koreans will rise up and rule the world.
     
Bob:   I'd say just looking at you, that you're overdue to rise up.  Some might say the timing of your unrest is making it difficult while most of the world is concentrating on the war in Iraq.  As a vertically challenged person you must hate it when you're overlooked.
Kim-Jong-il:   I will do all that is necessary to be noticed.  I will go to war if necessary.
     
Bob:   I guess if I had a million soldiers all dressed up with no where to go, I would start wondering what to do with them all myself.  Instead of war, why not a giant Star Search competition?
Kim-Jong-il:   That's not bad, but the male models must all be short, and I must be the only judge.
     
Bob:   Sure, we could get you a tall chair like they have on our "Who Want's to be a Millionaire" show, and you'll be able to see everything. 
Kim-Jong-il:   This is great.  Maybe we could do a Survivor show too, and eat gross food like your American hot dogs and things like that.
     
Bob:   Sure, you can be the guy who blows out the torches.  We'll have to cut the stakes down a couple feet, but it will work.
Kim-Jong-il:   I still have one passion that isn't being fullfilled.  I want to be an Elvis impersonator.
     
Bob:   I have a better idea.  America's latest craze is over this character called Mini-me.  If you shave your head and kiss your pinky finger, you will strike an amazing resemblance.  Between that and your current reputation as a real life Dr. Evil your popularity is destined to soar.
Kim-Jong-il:   I feel tall.
     
     
Bob:   You are how you feel.  Well folks it looks like I've saved the world from nuclear disaster.  Don't thank me, just spread the Speechbooster's word, and have a great week.
     
    Interviews Of Yesterweek

 
    Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03
    George W. Bush 03/23/03
    Jacques Chirac 03/16/03
    Khalid Interview 03/09/03
    Saddam Hussein Interview  03/02/03