This week Bob visits with ...
Newly Resigned Army Secretary Tom White
Any of you guys know why I didn't get one of those cool duck huntin' costumes?
| Bob: | Hello there Mr. White. Wow, lost another job huh? First the Enron thing, and now this, Things aren't going all that well for you lately, are they? | |
| Tom White: | My interviewing with you pretty much summarizes where things are going for me. I was hoping for Leslie Stahl or at least Barbara Walters. | |
| Bob: | Tell us more about the first hot water you were in as Army Secretary, and your failure to divest all your Enron holdings. | |
| Tom White: | Well let's see. I had a bunch of stock that was becoming more and more worthless as the days went on and I decided to quietly hang on to it. | |
| Bob: | And you were the guy making decisions for the Army. | |
| Tom White: | Well I tried, but that mean old Donny Rumsfeld wouldn't let me give them this big gun I wanted them to have. | |
| Bob: | You mean the Crusader Artillery System? | |
| Tom White: | Yeah. I thought it was cool, but Donny didn't like it, so I passed this note around Capitol Hill saying Donny is a meanie, and we need the big gun. Now he's mad and he says I can't play anymore. | |
| Bob: | Wow. Tough break. What now? | |
| Tom White: | I guess I'll file for unemployment. | |
| Bob: | But aren't you already earning hundreds of thousands of dollars from the combination of your Enron proceeds and now your government retirement? | |
| Tom White: | I don't know what your talking about. You know I know where they keep a couple of those Crusaders. | |
| Bob: | OK! OK! I won't mention it. Have you given any thought to putting one of those Crusader gizmos out on Ebay? | |
| Tom White: | I have, but most of the usual bidders are laying low right now. | |
| Bob: | Why's that? | |
| Tom White: | Something about a deck of cards with their pictures on it. | |
| Bob: | Now there's something I'd like to get my hands on. Any chance I can get a deck of those cards the military is using in Iraq? | |
| Tom White: | Here's an account number. The password is NORNE (Enron spelled backwards). Make a deposit and I'll see what I can do. | |
| Bob: | I think I'll try my luck on Ebay. You sound like you might be forgetful. Well folks, that about does it for another Speechbooster interview for this week. | |
| Interviews Of
Yesterweek
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| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |