... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
Massachusetts Newlyweds Bill & George
| Bob: | Oh Boy! And do I mean Oh Boy Oh Boy! With the legalization of gay marriage in the state of Massachusetts, it seems the party has officially started for many couples yet to be recognized as husband and husband. I'm here this week to help alleviate the curiosities that must be obvious to all the people that are comparably ignorant to myself. So I have Bill & George here and they have kindly agreed to share their advice on how to plan a gay wedding. So Bill, let's start with funding, traditionally it's the bride's family responsibility, how does it work in a gay marriage? | |
| Bill: | Well if men are getting married they try to find women to pay for it. Women really seem to eat this gay thing up. They're really just happy to be part of a wedding where they won't have to catch a stupid bouquet. | |
| Bob: | I see. And so George, how do the invitations read? | |
| George: | Usually something like, "The parents of William Jones are hesitant but supportively announcing the marriage of their ...A reception with quiche and something else will be held...." | |
| Bob: | The message gets delivered, doesn't it?. Well OK, the funding is set, the invitations are out, what's next? | |
| Bill: | Usually all sorts of weird phone calls. Women calling saying "So that's why there was no second date". Neighbors wanting decorating advice. Macramé telemarketers. You wouldn't believe it. | |
| Bob: | I'm sure glad I never stereotype. So who's wearing the pink? | |
| George: | Well look at that, you embarrassed yourself. I guess you'll be wearing the pink. Bill and I will be wearing matching tuxes as we walk down the aisle together. | |
| Bob: | So I guess you'll skip "Here Comes The Bride". | |
| Bill: | We were thinking more on the lines of "Stand By Your Man". | |
| Bob: | I'm admittedly hesitant to ask for fear of turning pink again, but is there a kiss at the end of the ceremony? | |
| George: | Of course there is, but the music will be loud to drown out the people who say Eeew. | |
| Bob: | What about the wedding party. Do you both choose ushers? | |
| Bill: | Well we had each chosen four, but we had a heck of a time finding 8 usher gifts that we're all the same thing, so we cut it down to two ushers each. | |
| Bob: | So what's unique about the reception? | |
| George: | Well "The Daddy's Little Girl" song sure gets a lot of laughs. And the YMCA song is really done with enthusiasm. | |
| Bob: | Do I dare ask about the Hokey Pokey? | |
| Bill: | We agreed to answer questions about the wedding ... nothing more. | |
| Bob: | I'm gonna put both feet out if I can. It's definitely time to go. Bill and George I wish you the best of luck, and I'm sure neither of you will ever fight with your wife. Let me take this opportunity to invite anyone trying to be selected as a delegate for one of our primaries, to contact me for a speech that will at least let them know you have a sense of humor. | |
Speechboosters Home Page -
 Interviews Of Yesterweek
| ||
| Ray Romano 05/02/04 | ||
| Rupert Murdoch 03/21/04 | ||
| Bill Gates 03/07/04 | ||
| John Kerry 02/15/04 | ||
| Janet And Justin 02/01/04 | ||
| Russian Army 01/25/04 | ||
| Democratic Hopefuls 01/11/04 | ||
| Prahlad Jani 01/04/04 | ||
| Santa 12/14/03 | ||
| Tom The Turkey 11/23/03 | ||
| Steve Bartman 10/25/03 | ||
| Bill Welke 10/11/03 | ||
| California Gubernatorial Candidates 09/13/03 | ||
| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/22/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |
