... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
Cupid
| Bob: | Well here we are in June, and Wedding season has officially started. So I asked Cupid to take time out of his busy schedule for a Speechbooster's Interview. Wow! You're even shorter than Kim Jong-il. Oh well, let me start by mentioning that my wife and I haven't been to a wedding in three years, and now all of a sudden, we have three to go to in the next 5 weeks. How do you explain that? | |
| Cupid: | Well, here's the deal. It's about arrow supply. The past few years the forests have been comparatively free of reckless loggers. Now, with the Bush Administration, we got more wood, so we got more arrows. Simple economics. If you haven't fallen in love yet, vote republican, it can only help. | |
| Bob: | And a powerful arrow it is too. What do you put on the ends of those things anyway? | |
| Cupid: | Occupational secret. You can't be too careful you know. | |
| Bob: | What do you mean? | |
| Cupid: | There's some people that have it in for us mythical characters. You know those elves that helped the cobbler make the shoes, right? They did it for nothin'. The guys from the Cobbler's Union heard about it, and well, let's just say the elves are worrying about their own souls right now. | |
| Bob: | Ouch. Well how about you tell us the ingredients that go on the tips of your arrows without telling us how much of each. | |
| Cupid: | Well I guess I could do that. You want to know all the ingredients? | |
| Bob: | Well there's that one we don't talk about around the kids. Let's leave that one out. How about you just tell us about the others? | |
| Cupid: | OK. Well you need a bit of Romance. | |
| Bob: | So where do you get that? | |
| Cupid: | The great thing about romance is that it's the only ingredient that there's plenty of. When I take other ingredients, it usually leaves people short, but romance is plentiful at convalescent homes The other day I was watching Fred and Lois playing Bingo. Lois can't see the card in front of her, but they go every week. Romance is not caring a thing about what you're doing, but caring a bunch about who you're doing it with. As I said, convalescent homes have plenty. | |
| Bob: | Gosh, I'm almost crying. Stop that. What else you got? | |
| Cupid: | Well there's Honesty and Integrity. | |
| Bob: | So where do you get that? | |
| Cupid:: | Corporate America. What the heck. They're not using it. | |
| Bob: | What about love? | |
| Cupid: | Gee your quick. Of course there's love. I get that from thousands of people just before they start their cars. Boy do they act stupid without it. But I shoot the arrow, a couple falls in love, what's a couple of psycho drivers gonna hurt? | |
| Bob: | Anything else? | |
| Cupid: | Compromise. Don't forget compromise. The arrow would last for a day at the most without it. I get that from the Israelis and the Palestinians. They don't ever seem to use theirs for very long. | |
| Bob: | Oh yeah, we get that stuff out all the time at our house. Every now and then we run out, and things get really ugly. Well I hope every one has learned a thing or two from Cupid. I know I was getting just a bit uncomfortable interviewing a guy in a sheet with a weapon. Hope everyone has a great week. | |
| Interviews Of
Yesterweek
|
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| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 | ||