... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
President George W. Bush
| Bob: | It is my honor and privilege to be joined this week once again by our President, George W. Bush. There can't be a more sought after interview, other than perhaps the purple tele-tubby, who keeps refusing my calls. Well Mr. President, it's an election year, I imagine your hoping for a larger margin of victory this time, is that right? | |
| President Bush: | Yea, those Stanley Cup Finals were too close for comfort. We almost let the Mexicans have it again. Thank goodness for those pure blooded Americans like Martin St. Louis. | |
| Bob: | This interview is going to be more challenging than I expected. I'll have to say that one thing you've become famous for is a tendency to create your own words. If re-elected can we look forward to four more years of that? | |
| President Bush: | I've actually completed workshops to deal with that issue, and I'm proud to say I'm completely rehabitutated. | |
| Bob: | How do you respond to accusations from John Kerry that you're a war monger. | |
| President Bush: | That's a bold face lie, and we plan to surround his home and let him have it if he says something like that again. | |
| Bob: | What do you say to the rumors that you know exactly where Osama Bin Laden is, and that your waiting until just before the election to announce his capture in order to boost your popularity? | |
| President Bush: | You know what I always say "A bird in the hand, is worth two terms of Bush". | |
| Bob: | Actually you don't always say that. I wrote that for you, and you haven't paid me yet. Unless you count all those wonderful tax breaks since you took office. Maybe we should just call it even. | |
| President Bush: | Finally, somebody that appreciates my efforts. | |
| Bob: | Sir do you know what sarcasm is? | |
| President Bush: | Of course I know what a sarcasm is. We actually have Osama trapped in a sarcasm over in the mountains of Pakistan. | |
| Bob: | Sir, there's a fair amount of people who say you went after Saddam Hussein as an act of vengeance in retaliation for his efforts to have your father killed. Care to comment? | |
| President Bush: | That's completely unfounded, and it's about time the truth came out. The truth is in 1997, Saddam visited the United States briefly, but long enough to rent Blue Lagoon from Blockbuster Video. The movie was never returned. Blockbuster subcontracted the government to get that movie back, and I'm proud to say, most of it has been recovered. | |
| Bob: | You've got an answer for everything. Sir, are you going to get by without George Tenet running your Central Intelligence agency? | |
| President Bush: | We have an Intelligence Agency. Do they give classes? | |
| Bob: | Have you considered the possibility of losing the election and given any thought to what you might be doing next year, if your not re-elected? | |
| President Bush: | I was thinking I would get on that Survivor show. I'd take my army with me, and I'd capture all the other contestants and snuff their torches. | |
| Bob: | Sir you don't get to keep the army. At least I don't think you do. Didn't your father teach you anything about what happens when you leave office? | |
| President Bush: | I actually have had little advice from Dad since the days when I was a kid. | |
| Bob: | Speaking of which, when I look at you, I can't help but picture a kid with just his finger tips, forehead, and beady little eyes peering out the window of a tree house. Glancing now and then at your members only sign with pride and confidence that you were the only member and going "Teehee Teehee". Makes me wonder if there's a tree house somewhere in the white house these days. Well thanks for the Interview Mr. President. Good luck whatever happens. | |
| President Bush: | I'm George Bush, and I'm not sure I like this message. | |
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| Interviews
Of Yesterweek
| ||
| George Tenet 06/13/04 | ||
| Gay Mass. Couple 05/23/04 | ||
| Ray Romano 05/02/04 | ||
| Rupert Murdoch 03/21/04 | ||
| Bill Gates 03/07/04 | ||
| John Kerry 02/15/04 | ||
| Janet And Justin 02/01/04 | ||
| Russian Army 01/25/04 | ||
| Democratic Hopefuls 01/11/04 | ||
| Prahlad Jani 01/04/04 | ||
| Santa 12/14/03 | ||
| Tom The Turkey 11/23/03 | ||
| Steve Bartman 10/25/03 | ||
| Bill Welke 10/11/03 | ||
| California Gubernatorial Candidates 09/13/03 | ||
| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/22/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |
