... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
A Palace Guard
| Bob: | Well last week I fabricated myself at the Vatican, so while I'm imagining myself in Europe, I may as well zip over to London, and visit one of those Palace Guards that no one seems to be able to communicate with. My superior skills will no doubt provide a break through interview. OK so here it goes (Boy , that fuzzy hat sure makes 'em look taller), Say nothing if you hate your job. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | So it's true! I had heard many of you are displeased with your salaries. What are you paid? | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | Nothing at all. Well that's disgraceful. Yet you still worry your jobs may be vendored overseas. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | I'd say your job is safe, but I get the feeling my words don't sooth you in any way. What is the best thing a passerby has ever said to you? | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | So you would prefer it, if none of us spoke. Well we're tourists, and every time we see you on TV someone is trying to humiliate you. It seems like the thing to do. Even if we didn't see all those scenes with you guys in the movies, there's still a need for some of us to speak, to communicate, some may say to rant on and on about the lousy weather here, or ask if you spray your hat for fleas, or just people who want to know if you'd break your stare to help a pedestrian being mugged, or whether or not there's starch in your pants, or perhaps you could keep their ferret up under your hat while they run in and have dinner with the Queen. But noooooooo, you would prefer us to say nothing. Well your silence speaks loudly. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | Stop Yelling. OK. Perhaps this job is suited for a particular kind of person. Let me guess, Rush Limbaugh is your father, and you actually spent your childhood without an opportunity to speak. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | Well you look otherwise normal, so I doubt that's it. How about, you and these other guards have this incredible staring contest bet thing going, and the loser has to eat their salad and their entree all with the same fork tonight. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | Ooo I got a little grimace on that one. Well good luck in the contest. You know if I were you , I'd try to find a girl that was a bit paranoid. | |
| Palace Guard:: | ||
| Bob: | You know someone who would be afraid to drop their guard.. | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | It's got to be tough putting up with these stupid jokes over and over and over. On second thought I'll bet it keeps you entertained. It's really a lot of fun, isn't it? | |
| Palace Guard: | ||
| Bob: | I didn't think so. Well I'm going to head over to France, and see if I can make a scary face and get their army to surrender. I hope you all have an enjoyable week. | |
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