... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
.....An Olympic Gymnastics Judge
| Bob: | My interview world has brought me clear across the globe to Athens, Greece, home of the 1st Olympics, and now home of the 2004 summer Olympics. This year's Olympics have had it's share of controversies including some questionable judgings of gymnastic events. We're in luck today, because I have been awarded an interview with one of the judges. So let's get started. First let's get a bit more background information. Could you tell me your name? | |
| Tern: | My name is Tern Fayrnezoff. | |
| Bob: | There's a big surprise. And exactly where are you from? | |
| Tern: | I'm from a small country called Clevelandsakia. | |
| Bob: | Sounds just a bit fishy to me. Let's get down to business though. What do you have to say about the questionable scores that have been distributed during gymnastics competition at these Olympics? | |
| Tern: | Spectators are ignorant about scoring techniques. I'm sure few of them know about the Lucky Multiplier Wheel. | |
| Bob: | What in the world are you talking about? | |
| Tern: | Each competitor gets a score multiplier based on the spin of the wheel. People seemed to get upset because we use a different multiplier template for the Americans. | |
| Bob: | ...Sort of like the bonus round on Wheel of Fortune. It's all adding up to American favoritism. By the way, I'm pretty sure it was you next to me in the restroom today. Are you wearing star-spangled underwear? | |
| Tern: | The Clevelandsakian flag has stars too you know. | |
| Bob: | Enough is enough. Let's just do our own bias testing here. Let's say you had two American dollars that you had to share evenly between three Olympians, one from the USA, one from China, and one from Russia. How would you do it? | |
| Tern: | I would first give one dollar to the American since they are American dollars. Then I would rip the other dollar in half and give half to each of the others. | |
| Bob: | That's what I thought. How about splitting an eight slice pizza between the same three Olympians? | |
| Tern: | Well first I would give the American four slices. Then, as I realize my error, I would split the remaining four in half so that each Olympian would have four slices. | |
| Bob: | I think you need a simpler test. OK, now have these same three Olympians share three Italian meatballs. | |
| Tern: | Easy. I would let each Olympian have all three meatballs in front of them for one minute, and since the American went first in the first two fairness tests, I would have him go last in this one. | |
| Bob: | So at the end of the three minutes the American would have all the meatballs. Another big surprise. | |
| Tern: | Why do you keep talking about Italian food. I like American food. | |
| Bob: | Who would have guessed? Do I hear "America, The Beautiful"? | |
| Tern: | Oh yeah, thanks. That's the ring tone on my phone. | |
| Bob: | Well it probably won't be too long before Tern becomes a Floridian vote counter or something other than an Olympic gymnastics judge. Have a great week! | |
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Interviews Of Yesterweek
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| Tom Ridge 08/08/04 | ||
| George Bush 07/15/04 | ||
| George Tenet 06/13/04 | ||
| Gay Mass. Couple 05/23/04 | ||
| Ray Romano 05/02/04 | ||
| Rupert Murdoch 03/21/04 | ||
| Bill Gates 03/07/04 | ||
| John Kerry 02/15/04 | ||
| Janet And Justin 02/01/04 | ||
| Russian Army 01/25/04 | ||
| Democratic Hopefuls 01/11/04 | ||
| Prahlad Jani 01/04/04 | ||
| Santa 12/14/03 | ||
| Tom The Turkey 11/23/03 | ||
| Steve Bartman 10/25/03 | ||
| Bill Welke 10/11/03 | ||
| California Gubernatorial Candidates 09/13/03 | ||
| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/22/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |
