This week Bob visits with ...
Some Popular California Governor Candidates
| Bob: | Here I am fabricating myself in the land of fruits and nuts. I've decided to interview some of the more popular of the 136 candidates for California governor. Let's start with the most familiar player in this game, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold I know your heart has gone from making movies to helping California, but I have to tell you, there's a 1 hour sale going on down the street right now, and they have Thigh Masters at an unbelievable price. You could work your biceps with those things. | |
| Arnold: | I'll be back. | |
| Bob: | Well we know Arnold is quite capable of picking up voters regardless of his focus. Moving along, Let's talk to Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante. I've heard support for your campaign just keeps growing fast. | |
| Cruz | Never bigger. | |
| Bob: | I bet you can't say that 10 times real fast. | |
| Cruz: | I'd better not. | |
| Bob: | Let's see what former baseball commissioner Peter Ueberroth has to say. You're not happy being 3rd on my list, are you? | |
| Peter: | You have a systematic problem. | |
| Bob: | Oh good. I thought it was me. How about we go over to Arriana Huffington. How would you like some of my Proposition 187 chocolate chip cookies.? | |
| Arianna: | No thank you. | |
| Bob: | Here you go. Larry Flint, hey, I think there's a period missing from your campaign slogan. | |
| Larry: | How's that? | |
| Bob: | Shouldn't it read "Smut Peddler. Who Cares?" OK, Oh there you are. Mr. Gary Coleman, running for governor seems to be what everybody else is doing. It's not exactly what I would call Different Strokes. | |
| Gary: | You're right, but I'm probably going to come up short anyway. | |
| Bob: | Wow look at you Angelyne. Do you plan on debating the issues with the other candidates? | |
| Angelyne: | There's some things I need to get off my chest. | |
| Bob: | Looks like there's some chest you need to get off your chest. Next up, Mary Carey, the porn star. I imagine it will be fairly new to you to be helping millions of people in a single day | |
| Mary: | That's one position I've never been in before. | |
| Bob: | Let's wrap up with a suggestion for Gallagher. You should run with Lassie on your ticket. | |
| Palace Guard: | Why's that? | |
| Bob: | You could be the melon-collie party. Well it sure is fruity and nutty out here. I'm going home now. It's back to school time. Hey, how about a Speechbooster for the teacher? Let me know. | |
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| Interviews
Of Yesterweek
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| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/15/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 |
