... Bob's Fabricated Interview
This week Bob visits with ...
Tom The Turkey
| Bob: | Here we are once again in the holiday season, and our special guest today is going to help us learn more about turkeys, and why we may or may not want to make them part of our holiday meal this year. So Tom, an interview like this sort of sticks your neck out a bit, wouldn't you say? | |
| Tom: | You're a riot you are. Listen there's a number of reasons why turkeys may not be the best choice this year. For example, many of us helped with the war effort in Iraq. | |
| Bob: | How's that? | |
| Tom: | Mine sweepers. Why do you think we walk this way anyway? | |
| Bob: | Did you have any other uses over there? | |
| Tom: | As a matter of fact we did. The French were actually attempting to join in the fighting. They used some of us as carrier pigeons, but our range wasn't quite far enough to reach the front. | |
| Bob: | I suppose there's other reasons you think people will try something else this year, as a matter of fact you look a bit different than I expected. | |
| Tom: | It's true, we had heard that most of you prefer white meat so many of us made our way down to Florida to get more dark meat on our bones. | |
| Bob: | And how did that process work? | |
| Tom: | Oh it was great. We'd just lie around on lounge chairs until our thermometers popped. | |
| Bob: | You're rather skinny too. | |
| Tom: | Thank you. We walked home, which was just the beginning of our exercise regiment. Then when we got back we hooked up with that weight nut in the striped shorts. | |
| Bob: | Richard Simmons? | |
| Tom:: | Yeah we all got shorts and tank tops and we actually learned to sweat tryptophan. | |
| Bob: | So is that a good thing? | |
| Tom: | Sure it is. Now the farmer can't catch us without falling asleep. | |
| Bob: | So skinny turkeys with more dark meat. A nice ham is looking better and better to me. | |
| Tom: | Well I hear the pigs are pretty tasty this time of year. And they are the other white meat after all. | |
| Bob: | I thought turkeys were notoriously dumb animals? | |
| Tom: | And your buying all this stuff about Iraq, Florida, and Richard Simmons? | |
| Bob: | I'm pretty sure after this interview that my eating turkey would qualify for cannibalism. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. | |
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| Interviews
Of Yesterweek
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| Steve Bartman 10/25/03 | ||
| Bill Wenke 10/11/03 | ||
| California Gubernatorial Candidates 09/13/03 | ||
| Palace Guard 08/17/03 | ||
| Pope John Paul II 08/03/03 | ||
| Tiger Woods 07/27/03 | ||
| Howard Dean 06/22/03 | ||
| Darl McBride 06/15/03 | ||
| Cupid 06/08/03 | ||
| Javad Zarif 06/01/03 | ||
| Alan Greenspan 05/25/03 | ||
| Uncle Tonucci 05/18/03 | ||
| Fairy Tale Moms 05/11/03 | ||
| My Wife 05/04/03 | ||
| Tom White 04/27/02 | ||
| Lisa Marie Presley 04/20/03 | ||
| Easter Bunny 04/13/03 | ||
| Kim Jong-il 04/06/03 | ||
| Muhammed al-Douri 03/30/03 | ||
| George W. Bush 03/23/03 | ||
| Jacques Chirac 03/16/03 | ||
| Khalid Interview 03/09/03 | ||
| Saddam Hussein Interview 03/02/03 | ||
